WE ARE THE HANES HOUSE GIRLS YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT

During that first semester it was hard to believe you were in NURSING.  We were deep in freshman year courses.  There was more to learn, however.  We were told that we needed to know how to play bridge, play tennis, play golf, go to a tea, to ride a horse, to swim, and to understand fraternity life. It is true that we were expected to know these things to "catch a great guy"and be properly educated. I was good to go when it came to riding a horse and swimming. Grandmother had taught me years before DUKE the way to eat properly and TEA was a skill learned early. I grew up on a GOLF COURSE. But tennis, bridge and fraternity life was to be learned.

BRIDGE  was learned from other classmates.  PHYLLIS BEDELL was my mentor in this game.  As the years went on more and more bridge was played.  As we neared our final year, there seemed to be a game going constantly. As one person had to go to class,  the next one took their chair. KATY KELLER, ELEANOR EMERY, BUTTONS DEICHMAN, MARCELLA JOHNSTON and JINNY JESSUP are just a few that I remember spending time smoking (yes smoking) and playing. 

 I shall never forget the first time I played with Phyllis and her date, BILL CROCKETT, (later married and have been til this day. We would play in the little rooms off the main lobby.  There was a hand dealt and Bill was my partner.  I bid once and he jumped to 7 No Trump.. I was uncertain anyhow, but that scared  me to death. Many years later when I was in Arabia I played every week with 7 BRITS.  A very similar situation arose.  A one club bid can take you to 7 almost instantly in their convention.  My mind when back to that night with PHYLLIS AND BILL and the absolute panic.  I have to admit I have done it to others since and I should be ashamed, THEY WERE RIGHT, with this skill I have met many wonderful people.  I still love bridge. Do people ever learn this in college any more?

I never quite got tennis.  I was good at it, but it just never could be as interesting as swimming.  I actually enjoyed walking to Physical Education from Hanes House to have COACH PARSONS drill us until we could hardly make it back to the dorm.  http://library.duke.edu/rubenstein/findingaids/uawjper/ 

FRATERNITY LIFE required more learning for me.  My family did not have a college education, with the exception of my father.  However, he was a basketball player and all his efforts went in this direction. So no one to help me get a head start in learning. I really didnt know what I needed to know.  I fortunately did not have to go through the agony that I saw some of my non nursing classmates suffer.  Rush started and the expectation was that the student get rushed for the sorority or fraternity of their parents.  I do think that it was somewhat automatic for some to get into the "right" one - given the right money.For me, it was a matter of learning about dating in the right fraternity, going to dances and parties, and the practices.  It was every girls dream to get PINNED to the man of their dreams.  This was followed with a serenade under your window at the dorm with the guys all in tux, a huge bouquet of red roses, and a party in the dorm social area following for all the fraternity men.  And there better be a good bunch of girls to entertain them. The first party at the fraternity house after being pinned, put you in a whole different category.  Pinning meant that an engagement ring would follow in your senior year with a wedding in June.  It mean no dating anyone else, but it in no way meant sex.  As a matter of fact if you had suggested that it would have been a true insult.  However, I am sure that close to 100 percent of couples have secrets that were never told.

The pins were worn most beautifully on a cashmere sweater and on a prominent breast part over the heart. In the fifties you wore a bra with straps so tight that they dug trenches in your shoulders.  You wanted the "girls" to stand up straight.  If you were well endowed, it was significantly more painful.

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This was the normal sequence of events.  Can you imagine the security of that sequence, but it meant that most were married around 21 or 22 and the first baby a year or two later.  I cannot imagine it today. 

It seemed to me that very shortly the NURSING students knew that they were different. Of course, we were not allowed to pledge a sorority for the reasons I mentioned earlier,but there were other issues.After about a year it was clear that we were about serious business.  It became an unspoken thing.  Even the girls that were heavily involved in fraternities would not be able to attend many of the activities.  We were not always able to go to ball games because they were on weekends and we sometimes had to work. This became more often as time went by.  There was some break-ups because of our availability. It was clear that our primary objective was to be a NURSE, not be a wife.

We did have our own song.....

WE ARE THE HANES HOUSE GIRLS YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT

THE GIRLS THE BOYS CANNOT DO WITHOUT.

AND WHEN YOU SEE US WALKING DOWN THE STREET

YOU WILL STOP AND SIGH

OH ISN'T SHE SWEET....

TO DATE US IS YOUR GREATEST JOY.....  and i forgot the rest.....

We were frivolous in our own way.